You're Amenable!

     Greetings, Salutations, and a big old howdy to you all, and welcome to the previously promised post, from St. John the Amenable, patron saint of I wish you wouldn't do that. We're going to start with something easy, something that's been pointed out to us all before, be it by some picky friend (hello!) or any competent English teacher. I do not intend to take up too much of your time with it, as I'm sure you're busy, as the peasants were in the days of yore.
     In fact, it's already done, and if you paid attention, you're already aware, so congratulations to you and yours. Yore.
     There it was again.
     Okay, moving on to the latest in what is admittedly a long line of phrases that you're using and I wish you wouldn't. I think it's time we let "on the down low" leave our collective vocabulary, and let it cross the linguistic river Styx, say a few words to mourn it's passing, and move on to something that doesn't sound vaguely like a bedroom activity of some kind.
     And who should say these aforementioned mournful passing words? Well, since no one else is volunteering, and I'm the one writing this thing, I suppose I should. And so I shall.
     We gather here to memorialize the passing of "on the down low," a phrase used by many (but not me), in it's life, to emphasize the necessary confidentiality of juicy gossip, surprise parties, secrets kept from significant others that could do untold damage to relationships, and so on. This proud phrase rose from the murky depths of not being a thing, to eventually appear in movies, television, and even in our daily lives, spreading the word to not spread the word. Our dear friend's entire existence was dedicated to keeping secrets, like so many of our greatest legends, including J. Edgar Hoover, Richard M. Nixon, and James Bond. It's use prevented the possible proliferation of passwords, private pronouncements, and even profusely pecksniffian prognostications (that right there, that's called alliteration. Try it at home. It's a blast. Don't overuse it in your writing though, that's kind of my thing.)
     But let us not mourn it's passing, my friends and neighbors. Let us instead rejoice that it was here for a time, and rejoice again that it is gone, because it was kind of stupid. And I beseech you all, and command a certain few of you, to let it go gracefully, and not to keep your emotions from the world, but instead to acknowledge, share, and yes even celebrate them.
     Do not say you're keeping you're emotions 'up high.' People will not be grateful.
     So, now that we have covered yet another dearly departed (mostly just departed) phrase that people will probably keep bandying about even though it's morbid to throw dead things, I think it's time we moved on to something much more exciting:
     Bringing dead words back to life!
     Twist! Baahahahahaaaa!
     Yes, yes, I know, some of you are welling up in anger and frustration  at the hypocrisy you see here. I just finished making a point about letting things die when they should, and here I am trying to pump life back into these other things, mostly just because I hate that phrase and like these better. "Charlatan!" you cry, and "For shame!", and "Flimflammery of the lowest sort!", and so on.
     Well hey there, Patron Saint of Not a Single Solitary Thing, maybe shut up. It'll be fun.
     First, that word I used earlier, 'pecksniffian.' Look it up, it's real. You should use it, because it's gangbusters, and people will give you some really interesting looks.
     Also, I never hear anyone use the word 'gangbusters' anymore. What is that about? Come on, people, it's not like we haven't worn 'awesome' out, you know? Spread your word wings and fly!
    Wait, don't do that. It sounds pretty stupid.
    I would also like to know why I never hear anything referred to as a harbinger of doom anymore? Check out the news, people, doom is all over this place. Surely, there are harbingers. How come no one points them out? It could help.
    This one I just discovered today: Knocked in to a cocked hat. Can you even stand the glory in that phrase? I don't see how any human could. This is perhaps why it means beaten severely. It hits your ears, and you're immediately beaten with it's glory. Like in yore.
     Finally, I will leave you with a phrase I heard in a movie recently. Next time you and a group of people find yourselves wondering what to do, and you have an idea, say this: "I'll tell you what let's do!"
     Go on, say it aloud to yourself, but fair warning, a southern accent matters here.
     Fun, right? And talk about getting reactions from people. Brother, you ain't seen nothing yet.
     And what's the point of language, if not to get a reaction?
     Your,You're, and yore. They're different, was my point.
-St. John