Idols Of America

     Originally, my first post in this, the year two thousand dozen, was going to be another of those 'best of' lists that everyone seems to do whenever our yearly counter goes up again. I thought since everyone else somehow feels the worlds' burning desire to know what movies or albums or new candy bar or whatever entirely subjective thing these people believe themselves to be an authority on, I would, too. After all, who wouldn't like to hear what my top ten favorite what the hell evers were this year?
     What's that you say? You'd rather have seven different needles injected directly into your eyeball and wiggled around for ten solid minutes than read a narcissistic list of what the hell evers that I like?
     Ouch. Harsh. But good for you not holding back on me. I guess.
     And what's more, lucky for you (I guess), because as I hinted before I had you wounding me with my own words of disdain, I've got something else for you.
     As many of us know, two thousand dozen is an election year, and my television is full of politicians making great claims, and espousing ideals and goals that, as a country, we should all aspire to achieve. Among the many I have heard recently, one political figure stated that schools should be palaces and teachers should get six figure salaries. At another time, I heard the President himself use the Bible to point out flaws in the logic of some more extreme members of the christian right. This is the same president who has given no less than ten profound, compassionate, intelligent speeches. I have heard intelligent debate on all subjects, ranging from gun rights to racism to sexism, and all of it from politicians. I even heard someone propose the idea of tuition based incentives to get people to become teachers. What a time to be alive.
     Mostly, I've been watching "The West Wing."
     Ha! Tricked you, didn't I? You so thought that I was writing about real life people, didn't you? I got you so good, the you should see the look on your- eh? Say again?
     I haven't tricked you at all? You knew immediately that I was setting up some stupid joke that wasn't funny, just like every other joke I write, and the only way I could make you laugh is to fall down a really long flight of stairs?
     Well. How very mean you are.
     But let me ask you this:
     Why was it that you immediately knew I was joking? You read that first sentence, and you knew I was speaking in utter falsehood. Words that make us hopeful for our future as Americans? As citizens of the world? Politicians behaving in a way that we should aspire to emulate?
     Please. We don't do that here, and you know that.
     What do we do here instead? Well, you know that, too. We get a guy from Texas, whose family owns a ranch with a largely unpublishable and stupidly racist name, making Youtube videos about how the gays have ruined this country. Though I would like to point out that based on where this value seems to originate, we should be able to punish him rather severely for wearing two different kinds of cloth in that video. Someone look into it.
     We get another guy, a former fast food pizza magnate (a word I seldom hear anymore) who gets really popular saying stupid things and then has to drop out because he couldn't stop doing stupid things, but won't actually go away. Speaking of this kind of crap, remember that congressman who sent some woman a picture of his, let's say, eponymous organ? Speaking of the opposite of this kind of crap, remember Michelle Bachmann? What was all of that about? And let's not forget Donald Trump, who just insisted on sticking his weird face out there all the time. Seriously, his face looks like the end result of a child's science fair project on what happens to oranges when they get frosbite and self absorbed to the point of stupidity.
     I could go on, but why ruin it for you? This is shaping up to be one of the funniest shows on television, and there will be plenty more to come, I'm sure. What I'm barely trying to say here is perhaps we should expect more from our politicians than we do our reality television stars. I swear, I bet the behind the scenes stuff from this race looks worse than an episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras."
     Sure, I admit that we're not the most attentive populace in the history of the world. We do generally spend more time worrying about who's going to win "American Idol" this year (that's still a thing, right? American Idol?), or whether or not it's okay to say "LOL" out loud (No, it's not. Just laugh, bonehead) than we do wondering which solution to the national debt makes more sense. We spend more time counting calories than we do hungry children (and yet still, fattest country ever. You'd think someone would count those kids just balance that out a little.) But we deserve better leadership options than this, right?
     Right?
     Now to me, this is where it gets interesting. Are the leaders of a country the direct result of that country's culture? Something to think about anyway. And as a starting off point, let me ask you this: Who would you expect to be in charge of the country that cancels "Arrested Development" and lets "American Idol"* go on for ten seasons?
    Do you think it would be a smart person?
-John


*Still a thing, I checked. Ten years. Good god.