Burgers of Virtue!

So I just watched a commercial from a popular American fast food purveyor, wherein their signature burger is placed on a pedestal and allowed to decompose for thirty days in front of a video camera. By the end, the sandwich has become all moldy and gross, proving that there is a way to make their food less appetizing. Or at least that’s what I thought, but as it happens they did this to demonstrate that the fast food purveyor in question is going to stop using artificial ingredients in their signature hamburger.
In essence, any day now, one of America’s top food merchants will begin selling actual food. No more will their customers be subjected to artificial preservatives and food substitutes they’ve been gulping down for who knows how many decades. From now on, there shall be only real food that will spoil if left uneaten! Let us all rejoice in these new heights of customer service and satisfaction!
Pay no attention to the begged question of what in the dark and twisted world of maniacal fast food science has been wrapped in paper and served on plastic trays before now; focus only on this benevolent choice! Let it be clear: this wondrous corporate entity has heard the voice of the people as it cried out for healthy food made not from salted petroleum, but instead real and natural food items. Also dwell not on how meaningless the term “natural” is in the corporate world. Only bask in the rare and glorious warmth of corporate acknowledgement, such a rare and (all natural) honey-sweet delicacy!
This wondrous epiphany of a television advertisement came as a true inspiration, pushing me to envision an even more fantastical world, one in which all corporate entities are so forthright and honest. Picture, should you dare, a universe constructed of health insurance providers that actually ensure affordable healthcare, or wherein privately owned vehicle manufacturers make a point of building planes that do not explode, or, if i might lead you all on a journey of true and pure fantasy, deciding to no longer sell poison disguised as food is treated not as a novel and heroic deed, but as a basic and commonly utilized practice.
I know, friends and neighbors, “wish in one hand” and so forth, but it does seem awfully back to front that so many aspects of our daily lives treat honesty and sincerity as a surprise.  This year in particular seems a good one for raising awareness of this, given the myriad tipping points on the fast approaching horizon. It seems many people have accepted this “post-truth” reality where scientifically and historically proven things are being thrown away so easily, and nonsensical ideas gain momentum and are allowed to spread like the Measles.
Wouldn’t it be an amazing thing though, to use this weird little burger chain commercial as a jumping off point, an odd and thoroughly ridiculous - and thus somehow perfect - place to start demanding reason and authenticity of those who would raise their voice enough to be heard? From these overcooked and offensively tasteless hamburgers, we could rebuild our crumbling society into one of virtue. Someday, generations from now, kids the nation over could sit down with their kids’ meal toys and rejoice over high quality foodstuffs and principles both. We could even bring back the term “Freedom Fries” and have it not be embarrassingly pathetic!
Okay. Maybe not that last bit. But you get it.
-John