Syriasly?

   
     Ah, that feeling of freedom, short lived though it is! What joy I find inside my soul, being able to once again join you here, my sorely missed friends and neighbors. There's really not much in the world like it, is there, that bone deep, full body sigh of relief we find after a long ordeal is finally over, and we've made it to the sanctuary on the other side, and it turns out the world is still there, humming along without us, awaiting our return. It's a little bit like finally making it to the end of that sentence.
     Anyway, so much has happened in the months since last we spoke, but one thing in particular has caught my attention, and subsequently raised the position of my dander. Normally, I'd address it as eloquently as possible, making use of way too many commas(,) and mocking jocularity, but given the level of discourse being used by people on television in suits claiming to be smart and worth listening to, I think it might be best to just bluntly ask:
     What's with all these dummies and their xenophobia?
     I know, it's not new. It's been around forever, and I personally don't think I can remember a time when someone wasn't screeching to put up a wall between the States and Mexico. Then it was those beautiful, actually existing members of our country who insisted that everyone who lives here should speak English, because freedom means making everyone else talk like us so that we are not inconvenienced at the drive-through.
     Now though, oh boy. Thirty-one states? Are these people kidding me? Just in case you're not fully aware, I'll give a quick recap:A whole lot of people who are being persecuted and murdered by terrorists in Syria are fleeing their homes, seeking sanctuary and safety, and maybe something that resembles a life of their own. Roughly 11 million, and we have agreed to take in around 10,000, helping to prove that the Statue of Liberty still has some meaning here.
     Unfortunately, the aforementioned thirty-one states have declared themselves unwilling to take part in this act of mercy and salvation. Mostly, they seem pretty sure that some of these refugees are terrorists in disguise, and if they're allowed in, everyone will die. I have, as you might have guessed, a few questions, a few issues, with this, mostly concerning the conflicting ideals these same people are so constantly shouting. I shall now address these people directly:
     The first one is easy, and it's about all these guns you guys have which, according to you, make the world safer. Never mind the paradox created by insisting that things created only to kill create safety; what possible chance could these ne'er-do-wells have, now that everyone has a gun on them pretty much all the time? I'm pretty sure that as soon as they show up and figure out how insane everyone here is for guns, they'll be way to scared reach into their pocket for their keys, much less do anything untoward.
    Secondly, you should know by now, no one has ever been able to successfully keep anyone else out of this country. Ask around. It's impossible. Hey, it's how you came to be born here in the first place. All you're going to do is make it harder for them, which will in the long run be more expensive, more labor intensive, and eventually just create more enemies for yourselves, which is what has you so riled up and scared in the first place.
    Also, by the by, letting fear keep you from doing the right thing? They have a word for that. Also, also, it's exactly what your current enemies want you to do.
     I was going to lay into the whole religious thing right here, how any Christian Nation claiming to follow in the ideas and teachings of Jesus and his Old Man would know better than to behave this way, but I'm not going to. Mostly, because as history teaches us, that never changes anyone's mind. But also because, just so you know, this Nation was not founded as a Christian one, and seeing as we have no official religion (thank god), we remain unbaptized, so to speak.
     You know it's funny, these people are fleeing a group of gun-toting religious zealots who let their fear of the world turn them into an angry, wrathful mob. Not that I'm making a comparison or anything. Although I am starting to think it should be Mexico trying to build the great big wall.
     Okay, consider them addressed. Back to my regular audience. You may have noticed I didn't tear into the whole "Let's just ban all Muslims" garbage. That's because I assume anyone who takes that seriously probably won't read this (be it due to preference or ability, I can't say), so why bother?
     Also, I know this is a pretty serious thing, and this little space of the virtual world is usually reserved for sillier things. That being the case, I promise next week will be chock full of whimsy. Sarcastic, cynical whimsy.
-John
p.s. As of this writing, Declaration Day is December 12th, just two days away. On that day, I will do something I almost never do, and re-post the original piece stating the nature of said holiday. Please join me in celebrating it, because that's kind of how it works.