Not a Lot Going On, Really...

     At first, I admit, I was having trouble finding an idea for this week. I really was. I thought about doing a thing about guns, because I've quite simply had enough of all this lead laden insanity. School shootings are happening so much that the even emotional vampires that pass themselves off as today's journalists can't seem to force their faces into that "frowning at tragedy" look they all get. Plus, we've got those open carry proponents, walking around with their guns out while they do their shopping and dining and whatever else most people do everyday without turning a deadly weapon into a fashion accessory. How carrying guns around and scaring everyone shows the world these people care about personal freedom is beyond me, because let me tell you something for nothing, friends and neighbors, any world where people feel the need to take a gun to buy their hot dogs and apple pies is not a free one.
     But what's the point in arguing with them? Why try and point out the hypocrisy? Seems a little too far gone, doesn't it? They've already committed themselves wholeheartedly to a viewpoint that insists the best way to keep people from getting shot is to give everyone a gun.
     So I decided not to get into it, and kept looking.
     Wanna know what I found? I found a bunch of stuff, and it ranges all over. Want an example? Here's an example: Gwyneth Paltrow says that negative words hurt water's feelings. For real. This was an article. In real life, written by an actual person. Which is when I thought about getting into how ridiculous celebrities are, but immediately realized that everyone knows that already, and who cares anyway? It's bad enough that some other poor soul had to write that article and put his or her name to it, no sense me dirtying myself with such inanity.
      Thus, onward I looked, searching for a spark of inspiration in the dark abyss of public consciousness.
      Soon, I came upon a group of headlines, and I noticed something odd. There was one, reading as follows: "P90X guy critiques Obama's form." This was right immediately above another one, namely "G7 leaders warn Moscow." To elucidate, for the unaware: the P90X is yet another in a long line of home exercise trends, and anyone known as "The P90X guy" should shut up about everything, because his life is already over. The G7 leaders are a group of the world's most powerful heads of state, and they were warning Moscow about all the weird stuff Russia seems to be up to these days.
      Hold on to that for a moment, dear reader, because more is on the way.
      I also saw a headline for an article about Mariah Carey's new album sales, right next to one about violence against women. Also on this list of interesting pairings I have included  "What Burgers and Baby Wipes Have in Common," which was saddled up next to "BP Oil Spill Could Happen again." And, just this morning, just this very morning, I say, without even trying, I find "Nick Diaz: 'Anderson Silva Should Fire His Trainer'" right above -above, mind you- "Woman Who Drove With Dying Man on Car Gets Prison."
     Now, I don't know who Nick Diaz is, or why he thinks Anderson Silva's trainer is doing a bad job of preparing Anderson Silva to do whatever it is Anderson Silva is training himself to do. Probably it's some sort of cage fighting thing, but for all I know or care he could be training up his ability to make water cry.
What I do know is I care about it a lot less than I do the about the story about the woman with a dying man on her car, or what the world plans to do with Russia, or the potential of another giant oil spill.
     So I thought to Myself -you might remember him-, "Hey, maybe I could write about how silly it is that all categories of news seem to be just melting together, and how the blurring up of all this stuff makes it all seem unimportant, and thus, in my opinion, is contributing to a less informed and less effective populace, one that could be more easily used and manipulated by the corrupt and powerful. What do you think?"
     To which Myself dutifully replied, "Well, it's an interesting point, and one I'm not, being you, inclined to disagree with. Although, My Favorite of All Champions Past, Present, and Future, Including But Not Limited To Hector, Hercules, Harrys both Potter and of 'Harry and the Hendersons' Fame, most people probably won't really care, so I recommend you just come up with a really long and mildly amusing nickname for yourself, and be done with it."
     This was, I found, a persuasive argument, and as I hadn't really come up with anything substantial anyway, I agreed.
     Tune in next week, as St. John returns!
-John