Can't Say Sh*t, You Hole

So I have an interesting conundrum for you, one I never really expected to have to deal with. Allow me to use an introductory paragraph to explain. Unlike in my real life, I try pretty hard not to cuss in the pieces I write for this page, as it gives people an easy excuse to act offended and thus dismiss me entirely. Usually, this isn’t really an issue, and more than once it’s made me look up and discover some truly first-rate adjectives. This week, however, it presents an issue, because I’d like to go over what the president of our country said, but I can’t quote it, because one of the words he used is potentially too offensive to use here.
How insane is it that a tiny little barely read blog that no one cares about can’t quote the leader of a country, because that leader talks and acts like the soon to be ripped off owner of a casino in an R rated heist movie? Not to insult the fictional casino owner stereotype; at least their casinos are successful enough to rob.
Anyway, the first major reaction to this latest spasm of stupidity concerned how racist this statement shows our POTUS (Proudly Obnoxious Through Unusual Stupidity) really is. While this is true, it isn’t really new to anyone who’s been paying attention. I mean, at this point, if anyone is still unwilling to admit that we’re dealing with a racist old buffoon, such willful obtuseness can at best only be seen as tacit approval.
Not that we shouldn’t, as a people, denounce it every time he pulls this nonsense. We should. We kind of have to, just to keep it clear that this is not acceptable.
But that’s only one of the myriad reasons people are apoplectic about what POTUS (Pile of Teeming Unusable Scraps) said to a roomful of adult human beings.  A smaller group of people are for some reason focusing more on how it was just an uncouth manner to express an opinion. Nevermind what the opinion was (racist), he should’ve said it better. Again, I don’t really see this as a new development; listening to that Prolapsed Old Tired Unctuous Sphincter (look, I know I already did this gag a couple of posts ago, but you guys have to understand, I have not been able to stop) is like standing at a bus stop and listening to that crazy person rant about the upcoming apocalypse. Except this crazy person could actively cause it. And he’s on TV.
There is one other aspect of this ridiculous statement that I’m not hearing much about, so I figure I might as well bring it up: why is no one critiquing his cussing style? I mean, all the smart people I know, stable or otherwise, really know how to cuss. They’re creative with it, like a practiced and gifted chef. They don’t just throw out some thoughtless word. They use these words like spices, adding flavor and flourish to personalize their speech like they would a favorite dish. This kind of shabby use is like using the word ‘gourmet’ to describe Taco Bell.
Look, just because some Pompous Old Trumped Up Schmuck (All. Day.) figures out how to boil water, doesn’t mean we should let him wear the chef hat, okay?
And as for the folks out there who thinks it’s fine that he said that, who still think the damage he’s doing to our culture and our government is somehow the destruction this country needs, let me ask you: do you really want to destroy this government and replace it with a loud mouthed self important moron who doesn’t respect or care about anyone or anything but himself? Isn’t that exactly what the people who started this country and made it great in the first place where trying to escape?
And as for the source of this poorly thought out, poorly stated sentence; if you ever want to get a lesson on improving your use of these spicy, spicy words, look me up. I’ll give you a cussing like you wouldn’t believe.

-John