And They Call It Science!

   
     Well, it's been a good long while, and so much has happened to, and in, this interesting little world of ours. The Olympics came and went once again, with its competitions, medals, and sponsors that no sane Olympic athlete would consume. We find ourselves once again in the middle of a Presidential election, which gives our politicians yet another unnecessary excuse to eschew doing their actual jobs and instead pick fights like rival gangs of schoolchildren. I however, am not going to even bother with those, except to say that any politician who tries to garner votes by posting pictures of him or herself feasting upon food from a controversial fast food place, doesn't even deserve to hold the job that he or she isn't doing.
     Seriously, appeal to people's intelligence for your support; don't prey on their fear and hatred. It's demeaning to everyone involved.
     Anyway, instead of going over all that boring stuff that directly impacts your life (the election, not the Olympics. Unless you're a competitor. But you're not.), I'm going to fill you in on some of the crazier things that our old friend Science is doing. I'll be doing this for two reasons:
     1) Science is fun.
     2) We're on Mars, you guys! Can you believe that? We, us (not you and me, but you know, 'us' in general), this here group of people right here (at this point in time, I mean. Not here at my desk.), put a robot on Mars that is driving around and doing science stuff right now. When you got up this morning and got ready for work or whatever, there was a robot from here (Earth. Still not my desk.) cruising the surface of a whole other planet! Dig on that, why don't you?
     So, because it's fun and deserves the attention, we're going to talk about science stuff today! Starting with this, out of Siberia:
     They found actual bits of frozen mammoths! Like, big, hairy, extinct since the ice age Woolly Mahatma Ghandi Mammoths! (No, that's not what they're called. I just like 'Mahatma Ghandi' as an exclamation. And, you know, he did some other good stuff, too. He was especially gifted at food conservation, I believe.) These Woolly Mahatma Ghandi Mammoth bits, which were found frozen deep in Siberia, include mammoth hair, soft tissue, and bone marrow.
     Now, some of you already have the proper question in mind, and the answer is 'maybe.' For the rest of you, I'll say it in what has to be my favorite way so far: We might get to clone us up some Woolly Mahatma Freakin' Gahtdang Ghandi Mammoths, ya'll! Sure, it's going to take a while to find out for certain, at least until the end of year, but think about it! How great would that be? Who wouldn't want to see, or, dream of dreams, own and use for general transportation, a huge hairy prehistoric elephant? You would, I can tell you that right now.
     Plus, if this happens, the people responsible could win something called the "Jurassic Park Prize," which is great, because until just now I didn't even know it existed. Now I do, and so do you, and it's all because of science.
     Now, in the weirdly uplifting (but still weird) area of science, a woman in Chicago recently gave birth to her own granddaughter. Slow down, it's not gross. Morally, anyway. See, what happened was, this woman, whose  grown daughter was unable to have children of her own, offered to have a fertilized egg implanted in her (the woman), so that she could carry and subsequently have the child herself. After what I'm sure was quite a few awkward happenings, it was a success, and their family grew in numbers by one. Proving once again that if you want something done, you should do it yourself. Even if it's becoming a grandmother.
     Finally, since exploration of new worlds is kind of my inspiration today, I thought I'd close with another thing about another planet, namely Jupiter (the best one!). There was an explosion on Jupiter, caused by some sort of impact. Probably a larger sort.
     The flash of light it caused lasted about two seconds, and it remains unclear if Jupiter will have any new scars to impress the girl planets with. It's had its eye on Venus for a while, I know, and this could be just what it needs. Girl planets love tough looking boy planets. Trust me, I know all about interplanetary relations.
     This potentially planet love life changing impact is believed to be a small asteroid or comet, but that means nothing. It could also have been an alien spacecraft, or Galactic Cupid, or a god shooting a spitwad, or something. We don't know for sure! We can only make speculations based on other things we think we do know!
     This, my friends and neighbors, is what makes science great! The pursuit of answers, and new discoveries, and yet more questions! Science speaks to the explorer in all of us, and beckons that explorer to  come check things out. Let the explorer listen.
     You could get a mammoth! Or possibly hit by a rock from outer space. Good luck!
-John