You knew it was coming, I know, but that doesn't make it not awesome.
Moving on, I turned thirty, and now I feel I have even more of a right to say this than I ever have before:
young people are ruining this.
By 'this' I of course mean everything, but I do have a specific topic in mind today, and I will share it with you shortly. Like really shortly. Like right now.
Planking. What happened here?
For those of you who don't know, planking basically consists of lying down on something people don't usually lie down on, preferably in groups. Aside from the snapping of a picture and posting said picture online, that's pretty much it.
Explanation complete, and now I have must reiterate my question: What happened here?
Is this what our sense of humor has devolved into? Has the bar for comedy been set so low by Kevin James movies and George Lopez that looking at other people lying down on things is now entertainment? What else it could be? Is there a message here that I'm not getting? Maybe it's a statement on how people need to stand up for things they believe in, instead of just lying down. Or maybe it's more pointed at shaking us out of the way we see the world, showing us that things don't always have to be exactly how they appear. Maybe these social revolutionaries are trying to help us realize that the world is full of new and exciting adventures if we're just willing to lie down on stuff.
Though really I just think it's sort of the equal and opposite reaction to parkour that we should have expected. You know, like planking is to parkour what light beer is to whiskey, or golf is to all other sports, or, to be as accurate as possible, lying down is to moving.
Finally, with these kids, there's this Google+ thing. What in the name of Saint Savage (ohhh yyeeaahh!!) is this crap about? We need another social networking site? Why not just wait until virtual reality, that way you'll be able to hang out with friends in a completely realistic way, just like people used to do before the internet had to be involved in every aspect of your stupid life? What, there aren't enough farm games and ridiculous gadgets on Facebook, you gotta go out and find some other means of communicating the daily minutiae from your life, arrogantly assuming people care? Stop that! Trust me, however much or little of an internet presence you are, it's enough. We don't need more.
Unless of course you irregularly and infrequently write a blog, which contains equally infrequent and inconsistent humor. Then you should be critically and publicly lauded for every minute you spend online, and also rewarded financially.
-John
